Never Gone

By the old oak tree
I buried it there
Pieces of you
Pieces of me
When the water touched my toes
I threw it out to sea
What was left of you
What was left of me
The warm breeze against my skin
Brought it all back to me
I am never without you

Home

I can't find it

This place that seems to exist for everyone

Except me anyway

I thought I was there once 

It felt like home

But like most pretty things, those memories faded

I can barely recall now

Was I ever there?

Do I just see illusions?

Sometimes I think that’s enough

And then the picture becomes more and more washed out

Frayed at the ends

And it can hold me no longer

I need this place to call my own

Where I hear laughter

Where I'm not afraid

  Or alone

                      (I hate that the most I think)

I need reason to believe that I'm on my way

Perhaps it’s just around the corner?

I hope at least... There's always hope right?

Maybe I just want to be missed when I’m gone

Have a careful eye on the horizon

A place to come back to

No matter how long I’m away

With someone waiting for me

Who’s thinking of me tonight?

And am I home to him?

The confines of fear

Running away is easier

Leaves a different mess

I can’t fake smiles anymore

It gets old quick

And wears on my soul

This air is thick

I feel it pushing on me

But the wind racing through the window chases it away

The speed surpasses all the things that eat away at me

Just the sound of Indie Rock

And the thoughts in my head

             That fade slowly

                     Until I silence them away

Maybe if I pretend they don’t exist they’ll really be gone…

Even for a minute

       I need some solace

Nope, that didn’t work

Just focus on the road

And the trees whizzing by

I don’t want to be here anymore

I’m tired of being scared

     Of myself

      Of others

       Of being trapped

        Of my soul’s hunger

I need to break free from these confines of fear

Addiction

I’m addicted to him
Not in an obsessive way, or even in a sexual way
I’m addicted to the way all my problems and anxiety seem to fade away when he is around

I can be having a total meltdown
And when he grabs my hand
               I’m relaxed
He’s my medicine

(Who am I kidding? He’s my drug)
He saves me from myself
Not every secret is bad

He is more myself than I am

I'll go back on the things I believe
Abandon all common sense and logical thought
I'll hush the quiet voices
Drown them out with a soft melody
The rushing and spinning around me slows
Because when I'm standing there with you I don't hear all the noise
Just the sound of the rain
Even my laughter is foreign to me
Maybe you bring out the real me
I like her
She gives freely and dances in the rain
Jumps in fountains and sings on the top of her lungs
I'm only her with you
And when you're gone the blurry fog returns
And the streaks of dizzy returns
And so my day just goes on
I already miss the freedom you gave me
You'll be a hard act to follow, sir

Battle

There is a rage hidden deep within
Taunted and tempted
Held at bay too long
Blood boiling and shaking palms called to it
No reversal plan in place
Let the flood gates open
And wait for the destruction
The quiet girl is gone
Not an ounce of meekness remains
I'm ready to play your game
I didn't realize we already were
It's been seven years
But I finally showed up
And I brought some friends
Don't forget you invited me
You say I've ruined you life?
I haven't begun to ruin your life
Let the games begin

Who is that?

I'm not who I was
I haven't seen me in a while
There's a pretty girl in that mirror
I can't remember when I stopped being her
Or maybe she, me
She's trapped in a rectangle
With bad lighting no less
I see her window shopping
Or watching the trees rush by
Quiet, observing
Raised eye brows and squinting eyes
A ripple in the water and she's gone
Day by day I didn't notice the change
But suddenly it stops feeling normal
Suddenly I'm just not me
And she's just as confused
Our synchronized dance in time
I kind of want to smack that smirk off her face