Never apologize for showing feeling. When you do so, you apologize for truth. ~Benjamin Disraeli
So here's my truth in its rawest form....

Thursday, May 10, 2012

Seems you don't know me

I'm a tad bit fickle
I'll pretend it's part of my charm
My mood is unpredictable
Tomorrow I'll probably care less
Or my world will slip away
Either way... I'm fine today
I'm actually more than okay
Lighter
Okay, okay - there's a pep in my step
I don't need a reason why
I'll obsess over the next thing
That's just my method you see
All my effort and attention focused
It hurts less this way
I even convince myself you see
I can't reveal any breakdowns
Won't let you see me
I need a new project
Hmm... definitely not a new lover.
HA!
I just might break his heart
Revert back to the old me
Keep him hanging by a thread
But there's no more rush in that power
It's just plain mean
No I'll just keep skipping today
And see where I end up
Who knows if I want to be there tomorrow
Or tonight even

Thursday, April 12, 2012

Hindered

I wish I were a bird
Rise above it all
Watch it all shrink and slowly disappear
And I would simply disappear too
Soar in the air
           Wild and free
All the best things are wild and free
Except me
I'm still here
And alas, another day begins
And another small piece of my spirit dies
Deep breaths help me through
I have to remind myself to breathe
But I'm running low on reasons
I'm just sitting here
Staring out the window
Through the bricks and smog and busy people
At the birds

Monday, March 19, 2012

On second thought

I find it funny my world didn't collapse
Maybe briefly it was shaken...
But life went on just fine
Even though everything is different
Things always look different in the morning
When our visions aren't as cloudy
Why do we make everything life or death?
It's never really that serious
I'm a bit melodramatic I guess
My whole damn life is a soap opera
Well that's getting quite old
Let's put a pin in that, huh?
I made you so much more important than you really were
I needed something to matter that much
It didn't have to be you
So does that mean it's not real?

Saturday, January 28, 2012

The poetry magnets made me do it

Broken wings hold me prisoner
My heart throbs with fiery need
Your voice melts away cloudy skies
I drink in your poison
But wake surrounded by darkness
Kisses linger on my lips
And I think I am at peace
It is a brilliant lie
How this secret devours me
I let it steal my breath like a fool
In hopes I will be whole
I worry I may never heal

Friday, January 20, 2012

Blinders

I don't want this feeling anymore
I want it buried deep again
I can be me with you
And fly free
Until morning comes
And your need to flee
I just want to keep being me
And have that be enough for you
Why can't that be enough for you?
I almost had you
You were mine for a short whole
But not really
No, not really
I can smile and say it's okay
While my heart shatters
Just hold me a little longer
And tell me anything to calm my fears
It does't have to be true
Just enough to get me through
You were just here
But my hand is empty now
And my head is so full
I torment myself without your help
You'll never really know how much it hurts