Never apologize for showing feeling. When you do so, you apologize for truth. ~Benjamin Disraeli
So here's my truth in its rawest form....

Thursday, October 14, 2010

I'll pretend you didn't say that...

I hate your logic
And the fact that it actually makes sense
Truth is absolute
And so very cruel
It has a thickness that lays pregnant all around me
Almost inviting
And completely entrancing
I'm drunk off of you
I can't shake your words
And am desperate to hear more
My comfort. My tragedy.
The silk runs through me
You paint a pretty facade
But I see through it
And still look the other way
For just a minute I forgot everything
I am bound to nothing
Not quite free though
But I try to overlook that too
The moment passes too quickly
And you overwhelm me
I can't remember why I'm running
That charm of yours is a gift
All the lines are hazy
And I'm just too weak to fight
I don't pretend to understand you
Although I try to in vain

Monday, August 16, 2010


The thunder claps
The windowless pane flashing wildly
Framing the chaos of my world
Center stage again
But very much alone
Slide across the fallen dust
The shadows do not dance for me
Not even to the beat of my sobs
Yet there they linger stealing glances
Please don't fade away
But I let you stay too long anyway
Longer than you deserve
I enjoy the comfort of your company
Or the torment of your teasing?
These mind games are always so confusing
I think I like these intricate slices
At least their attention is focused
I ache for the way it burns
The warmness trickles down my arms
In viscous bright streaks
Rebelling against the darkness
If nothing else, at this very moment I'm alive
This reminds me. Taunts me.
My double edge sword
I lust for you
          your power,
          your freedom,
          your judgement
Always the puppetaire
And I always without control

Thursday, July 22, 2010


Did you give up on me?
Label me a lost cause and move on?
I’m still here
Fighting, Thrashing, Screaming
Desperate for some kind of relevance
Stupid cupid, what do you know?
What give you the right?
Everything was pretty
                and shone so bright
Illusions and phony reflections
Sliced open from deep rooted bitterness
It’s dripping from my fingertips
Wash it all away
I’ve already buried it
Along with unwilling parts of me
But yes, I’m still here
Crooked halo and all
Bandaged , but not broken
A beautiful disaster
Sitting under a weeping willow
Only his branches understand me
The still air is suffocating
Robbing me of my tears
Must everything be taken away??
Patience, patience. Oh, how I learned it
You don’t know just how long
                I’ve been counting the days
When you were stolen from me
And until I can have you again
My heart is big enough
I’m ready to love again