Never apologize for showing feeling. When you do so, you apologize for truth. ~Benjamin Disraeli
So here's my truth in its rawest form....

Sunday, December 3, 2000

Hallway

I walk alone
Through hallways that were once filled with light
But now are still and silent
Breaths are quick and many
Tears break free to run their course
The only symbol of my life
But they too are slowly draining
            slowly fading
They will leave me too
Faithfulness regarded.  Loyalty forgotten.
Long endless hallway
            you engulfed me
You’ve stolen me
Freedom torn from me
            hid me away
Feelings, emotions trapped within you
You control me
Everything about me, strangled and smothered
Took away all that was anything to me
And for what, I pray?
            I am still alone
Leave me too
What is left to endure but the stinging strikes of hate
            and misguided love?
I knew no better than to fall for you
I know no better still
The quietness bring about ironic serenity
In contradiction to all intended
Out of place
            and much too late
Attempts failing
Now guided by chance and luck
But not much hope
Beliefs of a lost cause - -
The distraction
All is gone again
            holes dug deeper
                        to the very core of my soul
Each tear transforming me
            until I am no more
Long hallway you have failed me
Lost me in your battle
Your promises of light left undelivered
I am no more
All is forgotten by dawning of light
Too late to help survive or revive
I am gone, lost
Long lost light reborn,
with blinding brightness
Reclaim your lost child
Finally released and in search of you
Leave me not to dwell in tiny corners
Blending in with the darkness
Find me
            let me live again

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